Mom-Shaming – WTF…

This post started because I was so disturbed by a post within a mom group that I saw. Let’s be very honest – those mom groups can be something else! And I’ll be even more honest & say that I am in alllll the mom groups *eeks!* There’s something about watching a train wreck that I love, I guess. I do have some mom groups that truly help me & are very inspiring (shout out to 2017 Triplets & my Glisters!), but I would say 85% of them are on my feed solely for the drama, what can I say?

Back to my story – so I’m scrolling through my feed & I see in one of the groups someone posted about her ending her breast feeding journey. I get it, I didn’t last but a few months – it’s hard! I was going to scroll through it, but curiosity got the best of me & BAM – the comments were like a bomb going off! So let me start with this, the poor mother was having a hard time with ending her BF’ing journey – as we all have at one point – & she was beating herself up about it. Many comments were endearing & empowering (cheers & claps!), but there were also many that were so horrifying I actually felt like crying for this mom. I don’t know where the term “breast is best” came from, but I’m pretty sure as long as you’re feeding your child you’re doing “best”. It amazed me how many people basically told her to put herself through hell – mentally & physically – to continue to BF her baby. ABSURD!

Moms who are thinking of ending their BF’ing journey – you are a GREAT mom! You tried one way, it isn’t working out (for whatever reason), so move on to another way. And thank goodness we have amazing technology & science to allow formula to be a phenomenal option! And this goes with anything! Don’t even get me started on the “should I stay at home or go back to work” craziness. From one stay-at-home-mom – this is ish is crazy and most days I feel trapped in my home and want to go to work – that doesn’t make me a bad mom, it makes me human.

Now to my biggest point of contention – WHY ARE WE SHAMING EACH OTHER? This mom-ing thing is hard – it doesn’t matter if you’re a SAHM, a working mom, a BF’ing mom, or a mom who doesn’t give her kids organic (*hand raised*)! I’ve never been so exhausted from being around tiny humans in my life! Day in & day out we give everything we have to our children & most days put our wants & needs last. And if you, as a Mom, are worried you’re not good enough or not doing everything perfect – you are doing it right, I promise you! The fact that you’re worried about it makes you a GREAT Mom. We argue with tiny humans (I can’t tell you how many times I’ve gotten into an argument with a 14 month old *eye roll*), we bite our tongues when our significant others’ come home & say they’re tired (*another eye roll*), all on top of keeping the house standing, somewhat clean, & the children fed & somewhat clean. SOOO – we should all be high-fiving each other – in the store when a tantrum is happening, in the public bathroom when we’re changing a crap diaper, & in the event that one mom needs to do something for her sanity that maybe another mom doesn’t fully understand – high-fives all around. Because let’s all be real for a minute, none of us are perfect & when push comes to shove, we all do what’s in the best interest of of our children & our family (& yes, that includes us too because we keep this train moving). *High-fives, hugs, & cheers to all the moms out there!*

The Trips Came Home!

Bringing the trips home was an experience I can never really put into words. The NICU experience was something that needs it’s own post (and it will), however, the “bringing home” experience was something I still think about quite often. J came home on June 4th, Z came home on June 10th, and A came home on June 12th. Bringing J home was spectacular – FINALLY a baby home, feeling like a real mom. I waited for this moment for over 33 days. Ask NICU mom – you truly don’t feel like a Mom until you are able to hold your baby without wires and you can be the “sole caretaker” instead of the nurses. Here it was.. Spectacular!

I took this sweet boy home and he was fantastic. We were up in the middle of the night feeding, doing the normal “new parent thing”. Then the next morning came and I had to manage getting myself ready, this little baby ready, getting out the door, and going to visit his brothers. I thought days before this would happen: This will be easy! People take their little ones out all of the time! OMG! I totally understand why some new moms do not leave the house within the first month of having their little one. I had to do this for 6 days – getting myself ready, getting him ready, getting in the car, driving to the city, going to the hospital, taking care of three babies (one of which didn’t have a nurse attached to anymore), leaving two babies to go back to the car in the city with my newborn, going home, trying not to cry the whole night (because I felt so guilty having one home and not the other two), shoving down some random food, trying to get some sleep throughout the night, then doing it all over again. It was unmanageable.

Then we were able to bring Z home and we had 2 babies home – wow! Thank goodness my parents were able to come help – we were in over our heads. We had 2 nights of 2 babies, then A came home. At that point, my mom was with J & Z and I went and got A by myself (hubby was working). It was chaotic! The first night we had all three home it was wild – I don’t remember most of it, honestly. Tom & I were so tired and were drowning so much that we didn’t know what to do. It took a little while, but we got into a grove, which was helpful. But let’s be honest, no grove (routine, schedule, whatever you want to call it) can prepare you for three tiny humans who are controlling your whole life.

There were arguments – many arguments. Every couple goes through this with one new baby – everyone is tired, no one thinks the other is doing enough or correctly – it’s mayhem! People ask how we did it – honestly, we just did. It’s all relative, really. Having one is hard, having three is hard. We don’t know what it’s like to have one baby – I would assume we would have had some of the same arguments and gone through the same challenges. I think the biggest difference was that I wasn’t comfortable leaving the house by myself with three babies for a while, plus A has a heart condition, so it was imperative that he not get sick. So I was stuck in the house all. the. time. Outside of that, we had a lot of the same issues that all other new parents have. It made us stronger as a couple, showed us we could handle a lot, and taught us to communicate much better than we ever had, BUT I’m glad it’s over!

The First Year – Happy Birthday Krueger Hat Trick!

First off, let’s talk about the fact that we have TRIPLETS that are now 1 YEAR! WHAT?! This has been the most wild ride of our lives & we could not have done it without our awesome support system. Our family & friends have been amazing. We know that everyone can’t be as involved as they’d like all of the time, but we want to say a huge THANK YOU to everyone that sent a text wishing us well, dropped off food, sent diapers, & came to cuddle babies. We couldn’t have made it through this past year without you!

Although this past year has been a blur, there are some things that we can remember vividly.

12 hours after giving birth to three human beings, I was finally able to see them in the NICU – against the advice of doctors (thank you to the nurses that snuck me down to the NICU so I could see my beautiful baby boys). Although I was only able to hold J, I will forever remember that moment of peace seeing each of them.
Mother’s Day – the first day I could hold all three of my little monkeys at one time. FINALLY – all four of us were together again & oh did it feel so darn good. We were waiting on A to be on room air – when I walked in that Sunday morning & saw that he was out of the isolette I couldn’t be more happier. THAT was what I needed to continue on with the NICU days & to truly feel like all of my babes were okay.
After 42 days of the NICU, all of our boys were home safe & sound together (6/12/17). It was a crazy night & the days following (OK maybe weeks) are a complete blur, but knowing that all 3 of my little men were home & I was able to be the one that fed & cuddled them during the night was amazing.
The day a true schedule was implemented in our household (I broke the cardinal rule & decided to let the trips decide on a schedule… worst mistake ever). I’ll forever remember this because it was the first day I could actually do something during nap time, instead of laying on the couch covered in sleeping babies.
The lovely sleep regressions – WOW! What a nightmare.. (& I hear there are more as they get older!). There will be posts in the future about these horrific times, but they made us stronger parents & stronger as a couple (because there is nothing like lack of sleep & all-the-time fussy babies that can test a marriage).
Selling our home was one of the hardest things that we did during the first year. Not only was it hard on the kids moving to another space, but it was hard on us as a couple. This was something that my husband worked hard to achieve – it was his first big purchase. We moved into this house together and started our lives as a true, independent couple. If those walls could talk they would tell you about the happiness, grief, joy, tough times, parties, growing family, and all around love that was had. I’ll forever remember the day we moved in, the day we brought our new babies home, and the sad day we moved out.
Moving with triplets! Wow – it was a game of how organized, time efficient, and prepared I could be. There will for sure be a post on this one! This tested my motherhood, sanity, and marriage all in a span of a few days.
The first birthday – the day that I looked at my husband and said “wow, we did it”. There are many couples that do not survive that first year and we were the exception. If I didn’t have three babies that needed me all day, I would have popped a bottle of champagne and started the day off with mimosas and strawberries, but you know, momming and all that stuff got in the way (ha!).

This has been an amazing year full of hardships, firsts of many types, and love that I can’t even describe to you. I’m told “you’re so blessed” very often by friends, family, and strangers alike, however I can’t put into words how blessed I feel as I sit and type this. I have three beautiful little boys that are happy and healthy – I am blessed, very truly blessed.